


Regrets

by Xenia



Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: Canonical Character Death, Gen, Internal Monologue, Introspection, Light Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-08
Updated: 2018-04-08
Packaged: 2019-04-20 07:54:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,128
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14256417
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Xenia/pseuds/Xenia
Summary: On the second anniversary of Laurel's death Oliver is at the cemetery and thinks about Tommy and Laurel and how much he misses them





	Regrets

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know what this is exactly. I was thinking about Laurel's death and how much I miss Arrow and how good the show used to be. And then Oliver came to me and this is what he told me. I realize that id doesn't make much sense, I know it's confusing and it's probably garbage. Regardless here it is.

Oliver stood in the dark of the cemetery late one night. He was standing there staring at a tombstone. His eyes were fixed on the name written on the stone. There were dried tear tracks on his cheeks.   
He always came here at night right before dawn. He came here to own up to his mistakes, to remember all the people he failed.   
But tonight it was different. Tonight the cemetery was the first stop of his night and he had no intention of going anywhere else. The city was safe with Thea and the others and he needed this night off.   
He stepped closer to the tombstone and touched the letters on the grave: 

Dinah Laurel Lance  
1985-2016  
Black Canary

And right next to Laurel’s there was another tomb. 

In loving  
Memory of  
Tommy Merlyn  
1985-2013  
Beloved son

They were both there because of him. He hadn’t been able to save them. His best friend and the love of his life, the two most important people in his life and they were gone because of him. Tommy had died to save Laurel’s life and now Laurel was dead. He had failed him twice.  
He closed his eyes. And suddenly he was back there. 

Tommy pinned under the ruins of the CNRI with a metal beam through his chest.  
Tommy asking him about Laurel and then apologizing   
“ I was angry and I was jealous. I am my father”

Kneeling on the prison floor, lifting Laurel’s bleeding body in his arms.   
Pacing the hospital waiting for Laurel to come out of surgery.   
“ I know I’m not he love of your life but you’ll always be the love of mine “  
The beeping of her heart monitor.   
Time of death 11:59 

They were dead. The only two people that had always been there for him were dead. It didn’t matter how stupid he was, how selfishly he acted Tommy and Laurel were always there with him.   
He had hurt Tommy, lying to him about being the Arrow. He had thought that he was the one selling drugs in their nightclub. And yet when Lance had came back with a warrant the basement of the club was covered in boxes and all the traces of him being the Arrow were gone. Tommy had cleared it. Tommy had protected him. Then Oliver had hurt him stealing Laurel from him, and in the end it had been Tommy to apologize with him. And Oliver had no doubt that if they just had more time Tommy would have been back at his side, fighting with him, supporting him, just being there with him and for him.   
And Laurel. Boy if he had hurt Laurel. He had cheated on her with Sara. He’d stolen years of Sara’s life. He had told Laurel that he loved her, that they would work together, and then he had left her alone to go to LianYu and punish himself for Tommy’s death. And when he’d come back he hadn’t noticed how far Laurel had fallen. He had started dating Sara again, he had left Laurel alone to fight her addiction, he had judged her and hurt her again. Then he had antagonized her every step of the way when she tired to pick up Sara’s mantle and be the Black Canary. And yet Laurel had always stayed next to him. She always stood right next t him, always supporting him. It didn’t matter how many times he hurt her, she never left. 

They had never failed him and he had failed them in the worst possible way. In the end being his friends had brought them to the grave.   
He had failed in saving Tommy’s life and then he had failed keeping Laurel safe. He had made Tommy’s sacrifice useless.   
And Laurel- God Laurel. He had just given up on her. He had brought Thea to Nanda Parbat to keep her alive. He had brought Constantine in Star City to give Sara her soul back. But he hadn’t tried anything to bring Laurel back.  
When Tommy had died Oliver hadn’t known that there was magic in the world. magic and time travels and a lot of crazy weird things.   
But when Laurel had died he knew. He knew about time travels and magic and yet he had accepted the explanations that others had given him about why Laurel couldn’t be saved. But he hadn’t tried anything on his own. He had just accepted their words and given up on her. 

He knew that him and Tommy were meant to be together against everything. He’d seen it months ago when him and Barry and Kara had faced their doppelganger of Earth X. Earth X Tommy had been evil, but in the end he’d died for Earth X Oliver.   
And now there was Earth!2 Laurel running around his city, wreaking havoc in his city. And Black Siren thought she was a better version of Laurel, a stronger version. But she was wrong. His Laurel was the better version of Laurel. She was brave and she was strong, she had gone through so much in her life and she’s come out on top of everything and she had never changed, never given up on people. She had kept her compassion and her good earth through everything. It didn’t matter how many times people let her down she never lost faith in humanity. Even when she was suffering she had always brought light in the lives of the people she loved.

“ Is Laurel safe? I’m sorry. I was angry. I am my father”  
“ I know I’m not the love of your life but you will always be the love of mine “ 

He would always regret that when Tommy had died they weren’t close. But he knew that despite everything Tommy knew how much Oliver loved him, how important Tommy loved him.   
He would never forgive himself that he had let Laurel died thinking that she wasn’t the love of his life. He would never forgive himself that she had died not knowing how important she was for him. 

Tommy and Laurel were gone. They were gone because he hadn’t been able to save them. And on the anniversary of Laurel’s death the only thing Oliver could do was go and visit them. He had to go and beg for their forgiveness. And then he would leave. He would come back to a world where no one really knew him, a world where no one understood the real him. He would come back in a world where he was truly alone, even if he had friend. Because no one in his life was even remotely as important as Laurel and Tommy had been and still were.   
They were dead and he was alone.


End file.
